


You’ve Already Got Me

by ramimedley



Category: Sledgefu Fandom, The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Drug Withdrawal, Heroin Usage, M/M, Mentions of Injection, PLEASE READ TAGS, Support, Vomiting, lying, withdrawals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:47:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28463361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramimedley/pseuds/ramimedley
Summary: Leaning back in his chair Eugene looked at Burgie.  “It’s starting again.”  He gave him a pointed look nodding towards Snafu's bedroom.  “He didn’t come home until early this morning and he’s hiding things from me.”  Sighing, he looked over at his friend.  “Anything of yours gone missing yet?”
Relationships: Merriell "Snafu" Shelton & Eugene Sledge, Merriell "Snafu" Shelton/Eugene Sledge
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	You’ve Already Got Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a drug usage and withdrawal fic; please read the tags. Our boys go through a trying time to come out the other side stronger. The descriptions are based upon research. I am not an expert. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it.

It was starting again Eugene thought. The signs were all there. The nights when he came in late, nights when he didn’t come home till morning, nights when he slept in his old room.

Leaning back in his chair Eugene looked at Burgie. “It’s starting again.” He gave him a pointed look nodding towards Snafu's bedroom. “He didn’t come home until early this morning and he’s hiding things from me.” Sighing, he looked over at his friend. “Anything of yours gone missing yet?”

Seeing Bill sleepily stumble into the kitchen Eugene watched as he automatically headed towards the coffee pot.

Looking at the two sitting at the table Bill took in the seriousness on their faces. “What the hell is going on?” He asked, brows furrowed.

“Anything of yours gone missing yet?” Eugene asked quietly; knowing Bill would understand exactly what he was talking about.

“Fuck, are you serious?” Sliding down into a chair he continued. “What’s it been like a year since last time?”

“Almost exactly,” Burgie murmured.

The four friends had met in college, developing a friendship, moving in together. They had all just graduated in May and were still living together. They were happy where they were; plus Burgie’s girlfriend still had a year left.

“He avoiding you?” Bill asked Eugene, taking a sip of his coffee. 

Bill had planned on a nice, relaxing Saturday morning before he had to go to work and now he was faced with this mess.

“Yes, he is” Eugene replied. “I think he’s purposefully having his shifts scheduled when I’m off so I don’t know.” Moving his coffee mug around, tapping his fingers on the table he looked at Bill. “This is what it does to him though. He thinks he’s being all sneaky when in reality he might as well be screaming what he’s doing.”

“Is he sleeping with you or hiding out in his old bedroom?” Burgie asked Eugene. He wasn’t new to this situation as he had been friends with Snafu the longest.

“Depends on what time he gets home.” Shrugging his shoulders he rose to get more coffee. “If he thinks I’m already asleep he sleeps with me. If he thinks I might be awake he sneaks into his old room.”

“What the fuck are we going to do this time?” Bill asked. “We barely got it handled the last time.”

“We’ll do what we do,” Eugene responded. “I love him, so I’ll get him through it.”

Giving him a narrowed glance Burgie replied “you won’t do it alone.”

“He can’t avoid me today,” Eugene replied. “I’m off and he’s only working nights.”

Sighing in unison they looked down at the table. He’d made it the longest he ever had and Burgie had hoped those days were behind him. Eugene had made a huge difference in Snafu’s life, but he only needed one slip-up and they were back to square one.

“We’ll know if he comes out of there wearing long sleeves,” Bill nodded towards Snafu’s room. They all knew Snafu was notorious about walking around with no shirt on.

“It may not have gotten to that point yet,” Eugene murmured. “We’re more observant now, but I don’t know.”

“Well I’ve got to go to work today,” Bill commented. “So I won’t be much of a help.”

“I had a day planned with Florence,” Burgie said looking to Eugene to see if he needed him to stay.

“I say we go about our normal schedules,” Eugene uttered. “He won’t think we’re suspicious that way. He’ll have to come out of that room eventually and I’ll call him out then.”

Rising from the table with a “good luck” called out over his shoulder Bill went to get ready for work.

“You sure you don’t need me to stay?” Burgie asked, worry evident upon his face. “I’ve dealt with this many times, Sledge.”

“No, I’ll be fine,” Eugene responded.

“You think it’s bad yet?” Burgie asked; looking at Eugene seriously. They all knew Snafu had a problem and he was very good at hiding it until things became desperate. When he started missing work, not coming home, things started disappearing around their house; those were all the signs that things were bad.

Sighing Eugene responded, “yeah, I think it might be.”

Once again before heading to his room to get ready Burgie asked “you’re sure?”

“Go on Burgie. He’ll probably do better if he just has me to deal with right now.”

Watching Burgie head towards his room Eugene drained his coffee setting his cup in the sink. Taking a deep breath he turned the handle of Snafu’s door. He hadn’t slept in here since he and Eugene had gotten together. It was time to get to the bottom of this situation.

Noting the blinds shut tight he took in the form curled on his side away from the door. Walking around so he could see his face Eugene thought how young he looked; peaceful in sleep. Very few knew what he kept hidden beneath the surface, but Eugene did.

Sitting gingerly down on the bed next to him Eugene felt him stir. 

Blinking sleepily Snafu looked up. “Hey,” he murmured. “Didn’t want to wake ya when I got in last night.”

Eugene noted he slipped his arm under the pillow.

“Why have you been avoiding me Snaf?” Eugene asked, reaching out to brush a stray curl off his forehead. “I know,” he whispered.

Frowning Snafu replied “it’s not like that.” He knew it was just a matter of time before they figured it out, but he couldn’t stop himself. He had one slip up after he got off work from the bar. He went to a party he never should have gone to; especially without Eugene. And just like everything else when he did something he did it big; no fucking around and that was where he was now. He was spiraling; he knew it, but couldn’t stop.

“Well, if that’s the case let me see your arm.” Eugene requested; knowing full well Snafu wouldn’t show him.

“I’m tired, just let me sleep” he avoided.

“Snafu,” Eugene started. “Merriell,” he continued. “If you love me, show me your arm.”

“Fine Goddamnit,” he snarled; showing the arm not currently hidden under the pillow, not a mark on it.

“Not that one,” Eugene continued calmly. “The other one.”

“Why does it fuckin’ matter Eugene,” he angrily replied; giving him a steely glance.

“It matters because I love you, Merriell,” Eugene whispered. “Now show me your arm or we’re through.”

Looking at his calm, determined face Snafu knew he was fucked. He couldn’t lose Eugene and he knew he meant what he said.

“Fine,” he growled; slipping his arm out from under the pillow. “Here ya want ta see that I’m a sack of shit that can’t stay clean?” He stared. “There’s your fuckin’ evidence.”

Looking down Eugene’s eyes filled with tears. Just as he suspected there were track marks up and down his arm.

“Why?” He managed to get out. Running his hand up and down his marred arm. “Why would you do this? It’s been so long.”

“Because I’m a fuckin’ idiot that slipped and it’s all gone downhill from there.” Slipping his revolting arm back under the pillow he refused to make eye contact. “You deserve better Eugene and you and I both know it.”

“But I don’t want better,” Eugene replied. “I want you.” Feeling him shift he felt him wrap his arms around Eugene’s waist, burying his face in his lap.

“I don’ think I can do this again, Gene.” He mumbled. “Last time I thought I was gonna die.”

Running his fingers through those curls he loved so much he mentally kicked himself for not getting him to quit working at the bar and find another job. There was too much access there. Maybe they could have avoided this if he had.

“Are you going to keep lying and sneaking around?” Eugene asked. “I’m not staying this time if you don’t mean it. I will pack my stuff and go.” He hated to be this way, but he knew that was the only thing Snafu refused to lose. He’d do what it took to keep Eugene.

“No,” he responded. “I’m not gonna lose you over something this stupid.”

“How long has this been going on?” Eugene asked. Snafu was very good at hiding it until it got to be bad.

“Two months,” he replied; burying his face closer to Eugene’s stomach.

“Last fix?” Eugene asked.

“When I got off work,” he muttered. Why did he do this to himself? About the time he got everything sorted out and things were going well he fucked up again. He swore he’d never put Eugene through this again; yet here they were dancing this dance again.

“You feeling sick yet?” Eugene knew it took about 12 hours for withdrawal from Heroin to start. This was going to be a tough week for all of them; most of all Snafu. He was going to be sick; very sick, especially depending on how much he’d been using.

“I feel sick to my stomach,” he despondently answered. “And I’m freezin’ ta death.”

Mentally preparing himself for the upcoming week Eugene knew they were all going to have to take shifts being with him. He couldn’t be left alone. Each time he withdrew it was worse than the last time; nervousness, vomiting, tremors, chills, sweats, achiness and clinginess; just to name a few. Eugene would be hard pressed to get the next five days off work, but he knew he’d have to.

“You know the drill Snafu.” Eugene murmured; detangling himself from the clinging man. Hunting around his drawers he found him a sweatshirt and tugged it over his bony shoulders.

“I’m sorry Gene,” he whispered. “I really thought I’d kicked this for good.”

“Let’s go to our room,” Eugene suggested; helping him off the bed. It wouldn’t start setting in until tonight when he didn’t get a fix. Then it would get worse.

Helping him up from the bed Eugene led him to their room; clean sheets, nice and neat as opposed to Snafu's room. Laying him back on the bed Eugene happened to mention. “So I guess that’s where your PlayStation went?”

Not making eye contact, Snafu replied “I pawned it.”

Clicking on the television Eugene sent Burgie a message. 

_Sledge: pick up clear liquids, chicken broth, stuff like that._

_Burgie: I take it he told you and we’re back at square one? I’ll pick it up._

_Sledge: yeah, he did._

Looking over at his boyfriend, shivering already he knew it was going to be a long night.

Grabbing some alcohol and cotton balls from the bathroom he returned to the bedroom. “This is going to hurt, but I’ll bet you haven’t cleaned your arm once.”

Pouting he looked away; with a simple “no” as his reply.

Sitting down on the side of the bed Eugene wetted the cotton ball with alcohol turning Snafu's arm over, saddened by the sight. Gently swabbing his arm he felt his heart flip at the sheer number of marks. Feeling Snafu flinch, he blew on his arm as the alcohol cleansed the areas.

“Try and get some sleep” Eugene murmured.

“Don’ leave me Gene,” he stated worriedly. “I can’t do this without ya.” He knew the hell that was coming and he had to have Eugene with him. Rehab wasn’t an option for him. He couldn’t afford it, so he had to rely on his friends to help him through it.

“I’m not going anywhere Snafu,” he reassured. “I’ll be here. Get some rest.”

Hours later when Burgie got home he set the groceries on the table.

“How’s he doing?” He asked; starting to unload the bags.

“So far, not bad.” Eugene replied. “He’s sleeping right now.”

“It’s a good thing, because he won’t be later.” Shaking his head Burgie took a good look at Eugene. “I’m going to be honest. I’m glad you’re here to help me with this because it’s hard to handle by myself.”

“Yeah.” Plucking his phone out of his pocket he looked at Burgie. “I’m going to call the bar and tell them he quit.”

“You think I should?” He asked; eyes questioning.

“Oh absolutely you should. Do it now.” Watching Eugene search for the number he heard him asking to talk to the bar manager. Listening in Burgie heard him tell them that Snafu wouldn’t be back. That’s for the best Burgie thought; keep him away from temptation.

Hearing the door click Bill walked in setting his keys on the table. “All going ok?” He asked; searching their faces.

“Sleeping,” Eugene mumbled.

“Let’s just order in; I feel like pizza.” Making short work of putting in an order, Bill and Burgie went to their respective rooms Eugene was assuming to annihilate each other on Call of Duty.

“Gene,” he heard a muffled voice from the bedroom. Walking in his heart broke a little. Curled on his side in the fetal position Eugene could see the sweats were in full force. He was visibly trembling.

“I need ya Gene,” he whispered; reaching out a hand. “Please.”

Crossing over Eugene laid down next to him. Feeling him turn and bury his face in his neck Eugene held on tight. “This is worse,” Snafu gritted out. “It’s going faster.”

He had already soaked through his sweatshirt; curls wet with sweat, skin pale.

“What can I do?” Eugene murmured, pushing his hair off his forehead.

“You should probably grab a bowl or somethin’ cause I don’ know if I’ll be able to make it to the bathroom in time.” Releasing him reluctantly he urged Eugene to go and get a bowl.

Hurrying into the kitchen he got the largest one they had. Coming back into the bedroom he set it to the side of the bed. 

“I’m so tired Gene, but my brain feels so wired I can’t sleep.” Tossing in the bed restlessly he attempted to sit up; a sheen of sweat on his face. “I don’ think I can smoke,” he whispered. “I think it’ll make me sick.” But damn if he wasn’t dying for a cigarette. This was his own fuckin’ fault. Here he was putting Eugene through all of this again. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Eugene loved him. Why else would someone put up with all this shit. This was it he told himself; no more slip-ups. He knew in his heart if it happened again Eugene would leave him and the thought of that he couldn’t bear.

Noticing the sweat trickling down his neck Eugene asked “do you want to take a shower?” Wash all that sweat off?”

“No,” Snafu replied. “It’s just gonna come back.”

Seeing his face turn extremely pale Eugene hurriedly tried to get him to the bathroom. Making it there just in time he rubbed his back as the vomiting started. It was all he could do.

Feeling his body shuddering, heaving his stomach contents into the bowl Eugene waited patiently; wetting a washcloth for when he was done.

Laying his head on the side of the seat he struggled to keep from vomiting again. It would get to the point where he was vomiting up stomach acid and that burned.

“You’ll stay right with me Gene?” He questioned; anxiety starting to kick in. His heart felt like it was racing in his chest at the mere thought of Eugene going away. Feeling like he was stable for the moment Snafu let Eugene guide him up from the floor. Helping him back to the bed Eugene tugged off his soaked shirt and sweatpants. Knowing Snafu’s clingy nature Eugene shrugged out of his own clothes laying down on the sweat drenched sheets with him. Pulling him snug against his chest. He felt the tremors and shudders wracking his body; goosebumps across his skin.

“My body hurts so bad Gene,” he whined; moving impossibly closer. “My bones ache.”

Eugene prepared himself for the long night. He knew Snafu would sleep fitfully, but would awaken the minute Eugene got out of bed. Clicking through the channels he saw Burgie stick his head in. “You need anything?” He asked.

“No,” Eugene replied. “On second thought can you stay here with him while I run to the bathroom?” He quickly slipped some sweats on. He felt like he was about to piss his pants.

“Yeah, sure.” Burgie replied. Moving over towards the bed he sat down taking in the pale, sweaty face.

Peeking an eye open Snafu immediately panicked; anxiety overwhelming. “Where’s Eugene?” He asked, trying to get out of bed, but his limbs felt so weak.

Guiding him back to laying down Burgie answered. “He’ll be right back. He had to run to the bathroom.” Patting him on the leg he commiserated with him. “Bad this time?” He asked.

“It’s the fuckin’ worst Burgie and it’s just beginin’.” Running his fingers through his wet curls he could feel his heart beating rapidly, a sense of doom settling into his brain. How in the hell was he going to do this? He knew it would be bad; even as he had been injecting drugs into his system he knew he’d get caught and have to do this again. What was wrong with him? Feeling teary eyed he looked at Burgie. “I’m gonna make it through this, right?”

Aiming to soothe Burgie replied “of course you will.” Getting up as Sledge came back into the room he continued “we’ve done it before, but you better damn well never make us do it again.” 

Looking at him intently Burgie continued. “I mean it Snaf; you’re going to wind up alone.” Burgie knew that was a low blow, but he needed him to understand the seriousness of this situation. This didn’t just affect Snafu, it affected them all. Exiting the bedroom Burgie watched as Eugene slipped fresh clothes onto Snafu as his body shook.

Laying on the bed; which Eugene had changed the sheets on Snafu reached out grasping Eugene’s hand. “I don’ know why you do this Gene.” Although secretly he didn’t know what he would do without him.

Sending him a side-eyed glance Eugene replied “I don’t know why I do either.” Turning to face him fully he gripped his clammy chin. “It’s probably because I love you.”

“I’m dyin’ for a cigarette” he stated; fidgeting on the bed. He couldn’t seem to stay still; restless.

“Let’s see if you can handle a shower first.” Eugene encouraged; helping him into the bathroom. Leaving him leaning up against the door he strippped him down leading him into the shower. Quickly stripping his own clothes off he stepped in with him. Soaking a washcloth he cleaned the sweat off of him as best he could; washing that dark hair.

Helping him out he quickly dried him off noting the look on his face. “You going to be sick?” He asked as Snafu sank to his knees, naked in the bathroom dry heaving.

Rubbing his back and helping him up when he seemed to be done he got them both dressed and went back towards the bedroom and he helped him back to bed.

“You need to get some sleep,” he murmured watching Snafu lay his head on the pillow.

“I’ll try Gene, but I don’ know if I can. My brain feels like it’s on fire and I hurt all ova’.” Sliding back under the covers he watched as Eugene went to leave the room.

“Where ya goin?” He asked panicky. He needed Gene with him. He knew it was selfish, but Gene made things better; at least bearable.

“I’m going to grab a slice of pizza and a coke,” he replied. “I’ll be right back.”

Struggling Snafu got up off the bed, sweat glistening. “Then I’m goin’ with ya.” Stumbling over to Eugene he wrapped his arm around his waist. “Let’s go,” he mumbled.

Finally getting down the hallway Eugene got him situated sitting on the couch; legs curled up against him. For some reason that helped with the stomach cramps. Seeing Burgie and Bill come out of their rooms he refused to make eye contact. He wished Eugene would hurry up and eat already. He hated looking pitiful to his friends. It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen him like this before, but it still made him uncomfortable.

“It bad yet?” Bill asked; sitting in the chair across from him.

“Yeah, but the next couple of days are gonna be the worst.” Staring down at the couch he felt a full body shudder move through him. Clutching his legs tighter against him the stomach cramp let up a little bit.

“You drinking any water?” Burgie asked, sitting right down next to him. Snafu was going to get dehydrated if he didn’t drink something.

“I’ve tried,” Snafu responded. “But it just comes right back up.” Clutching his legs tighter he could feel himself sweating through yet another sweatshirt.

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Burgie asked; looking concerned. 

Giving him a look Snafu replied “thanks, Burgie, but you and I both know there ain’t nothin’ you can do. It’s jus’ gotta run its course.”

Seeing Eugene finally coming back into the living room he attempted to rise from the couch leaning heavily against the arm. Feeling like his legs were going to buckle he called out “Eugene.” Thankfully Burgie got there just in time to keep him upright. Walking him back to the bedroom he helped him into bed; watching as he pulled the covers up to his nose.

“Thanks, Burgie” Eugene commented as he came back into the room. Moving over he adjusted the comforter, tucking the sides in around him like a cocoon.

“I’m going to head to the living room and have some pizza and beer with Bill. Yell if you need anything,”he said, closing the door behind him.

Hearing a quiet voice coming out from under the covers he heard Snafu murmur “I love ya, Gene and m’ sorry you gotta do this again.”

Laying down next to him he pulled him up close noting the tears threatening to spill over. “We will get through this Snaf. We did the last time and we will this time.”

Watching as a tear slid slowly down his cheek he brushed it away, but as they came more freely he just held him and let him cry. No one saw Snafu cry but Eugene, and it hurt his heart as he heard him sobbing against his chest as if the well would never run dry. Rubbing his hand up and down his back he murmured words of endearment, reassurances, and I love you. Finally feeling him start to settle he pulled him back looking at reddened eyes.

“You feel better?” He asked; watching as he nodded his head. “You think you can sleep now?” He asked, snuggling him back down in the bed. Eugene knew the next few days were going to be rough before his symptoms began to let up.

Seeing him sleeping peacefully Eugene eased out of bed, gathering up the soaked linens and clothes; popping them in the washer. Looking around it appeared that Bill and Burgie had gone out. Tidying up around the house; throwing away empty soda cans, placing dishes in the dishwasher and checking on the laundry Eugene took a peek into their bedroom. Curls still wet, blanket wrapped securely around him he looked so peaceful. Eugene knew better though. Snafu had always said Eugene had saved his life and he believed him. Snafu used to be wild, rough around the edges, fearless; but underneath he wasn’t any of those things and that war within himself is when he turned to drugs. They numbed everything; helped him escape all those bad situations he’d been in from his childhood until the day they had met. Eugene wouldn’t ever give up on him.

Hearing feet running quickly to the bathroom he winced at the sound of him vomiting. So far, he couldn’t even keep water down. Coming into the bathroom he saw him standing, rinsing his mouth out.

“I gotta get outside, Gene” he requested. “I don ‘ think I can smoke, but I want to be out there.” He pointed at the patio.

“Okay, Snaf.” Eugene guided him out to one of the chairs. Settling him in he saw Snafu look longingly at his pack of cigarettes. “I’m gonna try one,” he stated. “If I gotta puke I’ll do it in the grass.”

Tapping one out Eugene lit it for him, passing it over.

Inhaling deeply Snafu waited for that pitch in his stomach that meant he was going to be sick, but thankfully it didn’t come. He was actually able to smoke a cigarette in peace.

“I called your boss and told him you quit.” Eugene said; watching for his response.

“Tis prolly for the best,” he muttered. “I can find a different kind o’ job.”

Leading him by the hand back into the house they settled in for the night. They spent the next two days in similarity. By the fourth day the nausea and muscle aches had eased off. He’d actually been able to eat and keep it down. He was still pale; tremors still present, but better. All those marks on his arm healing over.

Thinking he’d had enough time Eugene had to ask him the one question that had been burning in his head since all this started. “Do you remember everything when you shoot up?”

Turning his head to look at Eugene’s uncertain face he wasn’t sure how to answer. “Sometimes.”

“So there’s times that you don’t remember things,” Eugene continued; nervously wringing his hands.

“Well, I guess so. What exactly are ya wantin’ ta know Gene?” He asked. He would answer honestly; they were past the lies.

“How do you know you weren’t like with somebody else while you were at those parties?” He asked; eyes darkened with worries.

“Most times I didn’ get it at a party. That was jus’ the first couple o’ times. Most of the time I bought it and shot up in my truck; jus stayin’ in the parkin’ lot at the bar. He watched Eugene’s face. That’s all he needed now was for Eugene to think he cheated on him. “I didn’t do it for the company. I did it ta forget just for a little while who I am.”

Bringing his hand up to cup his cheek Eugene kissed him on the mouth. “It’s not who you are you’re running from. It’s who you were.” Kissing him again he stated with utmost certainty “you aren’t that person anymore.”

“I’m not certain why we were meant to be togetha’” Snafu started. “But I ain’t gonna lose you; especially not to somethin’ this stupid.” 

Laying his head back on the couch he stared at the ceiling. Turning to look at Eugene their eyes connected “I know I’ve said it before, but I’m done with this shit.” Placing his hand upon Eugene’s knee he whispered “I love you and you mean more ta me than that. I can’t lose you.” Just the pure thought made him panic.

Running his fingers through those curls Eugene leaned in and kissed him. “I love you too, and you don’t have to worry. You’ve already got me.”

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
